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Misunderstanding Networking
Networking Isn't About Collecting Business Cards
© Andrew Bass
I recently heard about a "Networking" training delivered in-house for a property consultancy, at which the culmination of the day was a role play, complete with plates with wine glass holders, sausages on sticks and vol-au-vents. Delegates had to practice swapping cards (without getting grease on them) while balancing hors d'oeuvres, maintaining solid eye contact, and not getting spinach between their teeth.
The buyer had been disappointed with the training.
So much advice on networking reads like a charm school manual, treats the business card swap as some kind of moment of truth or "close" (!), and focuses on what to do in order to set up and effect that exchange. While accepting that it's important not to hand over business cards coated in breadcrumbs, real networking (work done through a network of relationships: marketing, sub-contracting, brokering deals etc) happens after all of that. A business card has no iconic or magical power - it is just a convenient means of letting someone know how to reach the individual named on it if they want to continue the relationship.
It's true that first meetings with new contacts are hard for many individuals. The uptake for and results from our own Smalltalk in Business seminars (which have been a surprise hit as far as we were concerned, and led to us gaining some key clients) demonstrates that.
But the emphasis on social performance skills is misplaced when it takes away from what really matters: seeking a basis for mutually beneficial relationships.
We have found in our work that shy people can learn to make effective social-business conversation relatively quickly, and in the rare cases where someone needs to learn to handle food, there are even teachers who can fix that. But, prerequisite though they may be, the deployment of these social skills is not networking.
Actually, very often the real challenge of networking is not a skills challenge at all - the skills are eminently learnable and can be made even easier with simple job aids. What's harder is the issue of prioritising competing demands.
Take an up-and-coming young professional - a lawyer or accountant, say - who has accepted the need to build a network as a vital part of their quest to become a partner. Yes, they may be a bit shy of the social situations they imagine (often inaccurately) await them in the bars and hotel ballrooms in which all this networking takes place. But they basically buy into the concept, and are willing to have a go even if it's uncomfortable. So, they sign up for an event.
On the day, they are busy with client work because of a pending deal, and the time of the event approaches. Do they
- go to the event, which now seems more uncomfortable and less of a good idea than when they signed up
- press on with the client work - after all, it's fee-earning, right?
No one can criticise them for carrying on working on the deal (they'll probably be praised for getting it done more quickly). And indeed sometimes it's going to be the right thing to do.
But if they always take option B, they won't build a network, to the detriment of their own careers and the future fees earned for the firm.
If you want people to network, then first it is necessary to make sure they have the communication and social skills. But
- The culture must support taking the longer term view implied by choosing option A.
- Rewards need to reinforce that culture - there needs to be recognition of people doing the right things even though the financial payoff is a way down the line.
- Managers, partners, coaches may need to help people develop the balanced judgement to decide A or B appropriately each time the decision comes up.
Finally, here are five key strategies for networking effectively:
1. Give value to receive value
This is a key attitude. Perhaps especially early on, where the other party may have less need of the relationship because they are more established. The value can be information, articles, briefings, introductions.
2. Finesse the business card swap
A lot of people we work with seem to get hung up about swapping cards. Their emphasis is on 'closing' rather than providing value. If early in a conversation with a new contact you explore and listen for the needs they have, and you identify an opportunity to help with that need (thereby giving value), then it's easy to say "I've got something I think you'll find helpful. Give me your card and I'll send it you".
3. Be a broker
Inexperienced networkers often feel under pressure to sell to each person they meet at the first conversation. An alternative attitude is to take the role of an introducer or broker. So your attitude (which you don't have to say out loud) is "help me understand what you need, and what you offer, and maybe I can put you together with another of my contacts". If you effect a successful introduction, you have reciprocity with two parties, and if you become known as a broker, your networking will get easier as people seek you out.
4. Join a committee
Joining something like a trade association committee is a great strategy for people who find social smalltalk difficult, but are confident when there is a substantive task to do. The meetings provide social structure, you interact with new contacts in the course of the work, people get to find out about what you can do, and you make a contribution at the same time.
5. Volunteer for a non-profit Organisation
An extension of the previous strategy, volunteering for a non-profit organisation puts you in contact with a wide range of people from a variety of sectors, and can have significant personal and professional development benefits in addition to its value for networking. As Peter Drucker puts it "..you have responsibility, you see results, and you quickly learn what your values are. There is no better way to understand your strengths and discover where you belong than to volunteer in a nonprofit"
Networking (and learning to network) is a medium-to-long-term investment. It can require tenacity. Beyond skills training, some form of ongoing development programme, through mentoring, coaching or similar, is needed to encourage people to keep moving outside their comfort zones. This is especially true in the early stages when they have only a limited number of contacts, when rewards are still a way off, and they would rather retreat to the familiar safety of flying their desks.
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